Monday, January 19, 2009

I am so lazy (a blog post my boss should never EVER read)

My mouse blinks this red light, signalling the last few meager hours of its existence. Then I have to get it new batteries. I wonder what it's like being a mechanical device powered by alkaline batteries. Must be fairly exciting knowing that your life literally depends on someone who's utterly incapable of buying more than 2 batteries at a time.

I like to believe I'm as responsible as any adult should be, but I have this near manic aversion to performing mundane chores. I will avoid them at all fucking cost until I absolutely have to. I will fucking lie and tell you I have done them when I have not. I will lie as intricately as a spider weaves its web to catch the fly of your belief.

I don't even bother getting batteries until way after they die.

Like maybe a week.

Probably a month.

This lie becomes so intense that I will exert effort well beyond that required to realise it. Moving my mouse cursor with the fucking keyboard keys (mousetools!).

There is no determined end to this purgatory. My mouse is only resuscitated when I randomly stumble upon more double A's. This could happen tomorrow, it could happen never.

Till then this sad bugle plays as its movements start to grow sluggish, slowly fading till it completely stops.

Then there will be an audible, "Ah, fuck.".

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mahai is this why you haven't returned my guitar -_-

The Ruud said...

kantoi

Nicole said...

u drink too much

The Ruud said...

Water?

Unknown said...

I am this exact same way. You have no idea, actually zero idea, how much I hate to do laundry. For example.