Monday, March 9, 2009

The unfamiliar weekend and being happy in general

The weekend

It's been awhile since I've had a full weekend to myself. The month of February was rather lacking in the "time off" segment.

Friday was:

-Work

-Chivas party w/colleagues

-TAG w/usuals

On Saturday night I wondered out loud to myself, "What does one do on the weekend?"

I then rediscovered the joy of watching a movie in bed without falling asleep 10 minutes into the show. It's quite nice, isn't it?

Sunday was spent taking Mr.Zac man-shopping before going to a Sunday TAG.

Being happy in these times

I've received even more news of people getting laid off. I think a lot of us fear this possibility even more now. Despite this adversity, I think many of us will eventually discover opportunities to be happier.

Recently, it has become more apparent to me how many of us work in careers that have been determined for us by fates we have not even considered. There is far too much emphasis on education and far too little on guidance.

I doubt I will ever be able to comprehend the desire to cram a child's head full of knowledge, most of which he will never be able to use. I understand the importance of general information such as history, math and your basic sciences but what effort is being made in guiding a child into the career of his choice.

This is something your child will have to dedicate his entire life to. And I really do mean his entire life. Imagine graduating at 23, spending maybe 3 years at your job. Then you realise you don't like what you do. But wait, you're 26 now. You can't afford to jump ship. Besides, your parents paid ALL THIS MONEY for your education. Do you even have the necessary skills available for the career that you really want to do? So what now? I guess you stay and work at something that you despise. Until you retire 30+ years from now.

Yes, that's how long you'll be doing it.

So how fair is it to ask someone who's been capable of mature thought for maybe 2 years, "So what would you like to dedicate your being to?"

And then.

Ask yourself, are you really happy at your job?

And if so, is it because of what you do, or is it the money?

So to those who have been let go, stop, and reconsider.

To those who haven't been, also stop, and maybe reconsider.

Maybe what you want to do won't pay as much as that white-collar-corporate-company-that-is-currently-sinking-into-the-depths-of-financial-disaster-does.

I'll tell you what though, I wake up everyday and I go to work. And I'm happy.

If this happens to you, then I'm happy for you too.

9 comments:

NiK! said...

This is coming from a 29 yr old who spent 4-yrs of his life in an investment banking career he didn't enjoy (altho' twas parent approved with parent-financed-degree in tow); and is only recently deviating from that path towards doing what he wants to do in life (write ads for a living):

MAKE THE JUMP.

If it's a choice between a job you sincerely hate but pays well

vs.

A job that pays peanuts but you passionately enjoy (to the point that it coaxes your brain wild and keeps your heart beating to the constant staccato of the hunt for fulfillment 24-7).....

Then there's no contest.

Follow your heart.


P.S. I'm not saying that it will be smooth sailing tho'. It'll be one of the hardest, wildest, most craziest decision you'll make in your young life and the repercussions will crash upon your sanity every step of the way (yeah, it's that hard to break away from the teat of ze illusive Matrix, Mr. Andersen).

"After all, nothing worth having in this world, ever comes easy...."
---quote courtesy of either George Bernard Shaw, Benjamin Franklin, or Dr. Kelso of Scrubs fame (bloody Google algorithm is slow on the uptake today!)

*Rasta Cowboy

BenBHadd said...

Hahaha.

Time for me to be the evil person.

I am the obvious example of a person who didn't know what to do in school, didn't know what to do after Uni and don't even know if I'm happy with my work..

I graduated with Aerospace Engineering in a local U and my first job was in a call centre working night shift and telling my customers they're not good enough for the product they wish to buy (not all the time anyway, sometimes I get to be nice and just let them spend silly money..:P)

What I really want to do is write music. But I haven't got the training nor the talent for it. So that's not going to happen. How I ended up doing Aerospace Engineering? Too much freedom in my youth to do what I want when it comes to my studies. (yes hard to believe but too much decision freedom as you grow up can be a bad thing).

Now I'm a Compliance Analyst, which 90% of the time I can't even tell you what I do because, well, you'd probably not get it anyway (45% of the time I don't either). I haven't jumped companies in almost 7 years and don't see it happening unless I get laid off.

Am I happy with my job? Well, not all the time. But then again, not everyone get to be happy all the time with their jobs. Even when you're truly happy with what you do (insert scenerios where you're surrounded by idiots at work).

What I mean to say is, while if you're not happy with your work you should consider, and reconsider other options, DON'T, just consider your happiness as the catapult to send your career all the way to another dimension. While many have succeeded, many others have failed...

Sorry to be such a thorn....:P

The Ruud said...

awww ben,

That is very solid advice.

I agree, you shouldn't just jump ship because you feel like it. Switching careers is never easy and should not be taken lightly.

The gist of the article though is that I feel people are not given ample time/opportunity to do that which they really desire. This made even worse by parents forcing preconceived "safe money jobs" down our throats for as long as we've been receiving eduction.

I just want people to know there's always another option if you really can't take it. And maybe we all should take awhile and think to ourselves what it'd be like to wake up 40 years from now and reflect on what we've done

Unknown said...

"What I mean to say is, while if you're not happy with your work you should consider, and reconsider other options, DON'T, just consider your happiness as the catapult to send your career all the way to another dimension. While many have succeeded, many others have failed..."

What is failure if not a contentment-shaped void in the time you spend defining yourself?

BenBHadd said...

Hmm,

I think there are more than 1 way to define failure. A success to one could still be a failure to another. To each their own then.

There are, however, some people who don't live through their lives wondering if they've done enough, or if they could have been better.

One of the joys of the world that many fail to see is contentment. On one end it's the best excuse to procrastinate, fail to deliver and blame others; On the other end it's the one thing many strive to achieve yet never make it....

Being able to be contented shouldn't (always) be viewed negatively.....

The Ruud said...

Being content is good. Content means you're actually happy, pleased and all that jazz.

And that, is something a lot of us don't have when it comes to work (from what I've seen).


However IMHO, it seems the richer/more successful you are, the less content you happen to be.

Again, I don't mean to tell people to find "career nirvana". It's more a message for those who've settled for less than they had hoped for.

NiK! said...

Coolio Ben for offering the flipside view of the situation.

I love the valid point you raise up:
"There are, however, some people who don't live through their lives wondering if they've done enough, or if they could have been better."

Sometimes I wonder whether this self-awareness (of wondering whether I've done enough/if it could've been better?) I have is a curse or a gift?

Am I supposed to somehow use this to propel & better myself/somehow better society?

Or am I just never satisfied?


*Rasta Cowbot thinking out-loud

BenBHadd said...

hahaha..

Nah, it's just me being an A$$ on this topic.

I think it's some defence mechanism to counter people telling me to do something with my life and not just letting it slide..

The only problem is (if indeed it is a problem), is that I'm cool with the slide...

No work and still moving, albeit slowly....How bad can that be...:P

Unknown said...

Nik, re: "Sometimes I wonder whether this self-awareness (of wondering whether I've done enough/if it could've been better?) I have is a curse or a gift?"

Differentiating between curse/gift misses the point. It simply Is. Things that irrevocably Are about you don't enter into usual equations about right/wrong, just/unjust, true/false. Debate is only relevant where there exists the potential for change--see also internet forums, :P--and if you know it's an attribute about yourself that is going to nip at you regardless, trying to judge it as good or bad is not going to get you anywhere.

The thing is, contentment is a state of being, not a negative force. Contentment should settle upon all of us as the realization that our lives are valuable intrinsically irrespective of whether we succeed in munching on carrots held out on sticks in front of us. But it should never serve the purpose of preventing forward movement from taking place--because just as we can be content now, so too can we be content having made changes in our lives.

For a person possessing peace-of-mind and internal security, contentment is not a difficult thing to achieve, as it comes naturally with self-acceptance. Contentment being seen as an end in and of itself, however, suggests that it's a struggle, meaning that somewhere a discontent person is desperately trying to convince himself of something. That is when you know you *just* might be trying too hard.

Agree, though, that being happy/content/at peace in the moment is incredibly vital.

Z