I just get off on getting off, albeit intermittently.
But this isn't about me, it's about the love zombies.
With all this new love, come a slew of first dates. For some: a romantic experience, for others: a nerve-wracking job interview that hopefully lands them some sort of position within the company (top or bottom, up to you).
So what should people, do on their first date?
Let's look at some options
Oh wait.
Also if I've ever coaxed you into doing any of these with me, I never intended to fuck you. Do I look like that kind of guy? Probably coincidence.
The dinner date
Tried and true, full-on interview. The most straightforward way to get to know a person. You talk, you eat, you ask questions. To the man, a chance to stare at your cleavage for an hour or two. For the woman, a free meal and way to gauge his spending power. The man pays if he's any decent, the girl gets a little tipsy from the wine if she's decent. Then you go home. Hopefully some magic happens.
I know some people adhere by a three date rule, but that's like two too many steps between me and sex.
The movie date
I've always felt this is a fairly shitty first date choice. No talking, awkward method of deciding which movie to watch with someone you've never really hung out with. Trying to cosy up to a stranger, not sure if there's a breach of proximity. This better be the best fucking movie in the world, with amazing seats if you're looking to make a lasting impression. Else, be prepared to fall into the category of every other goddamn movie date ever attempted.
Outdoor activities
I honestly can't think of anything more stupid than this.
Walk around in the sweltering heat/pouring rain during the day, or get robbed and raped by rempits once the sun sets. At least she'll never forget you. Oh yes, this is YOUR fault.
Go to Ikea
Probably more guy specific, this hits home. More specifically, her inane desire to get and decorate a home (if all goes well, probably with your money). Have pillow fights, pick on couches, lay in bed together and play with whatever cool invention they have in stock that season. Also most Ikea's are fucking huge. Have a ball.
Bring her to a gig
I've always felt this is fucking ridiculous. Bring someone you don't know, to listen to music they might not like. And if they do like it, it's often a case of, "Let's go look at a bunch of guys play cool music that I obviously can't. This is why I brought you here".
Ok done. Happy coitus.
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5 comments:
Why are you so angry?!
What's wrong with the first date being a simple dinner and a nice conversation? Fine, the guy does get to stare at the woman's cleavage for about two hours or so, because frankly, which female wouldn't flaunt themselves with a nice outfit that bares a little skin on the first date.
But hey, it's a lot better tan bringing your girl hiking for a first date. What if she's just not that outgoing?
Bringing a girl to Ikea on your first date? That's painting yourself into a handicapped parking lot, where you're standing right in the middle of the box and your legs just aren't long enough to jump out of it without getting a little wet paint on yourself. Also, this freaks me out by giving me the impression that you'd want to move in together someday and that's just TOO SOON.
If you're going to bring a girl out to a nice restaurant for dinner and wine, you gotta make sure you can afford it. Why crash your stockmarket by going Dutch?
First dates mean two things to me. Making a complete fool out of yourself because of all the awkwardness that may arise from said situation... and getting to know the other person a little more than you did by his/her first impression. I think it's the other dates that count after the first. When you're more comfortable. But maybe I'm just one of those lovesick zombies =p
Still love you, though.
Again with the handicapped parking spots!
Ikea is frackin' awesome ok. Just leave that one to the guys to worry about. I'd probably worry if a woman I barely knew asked me out to help her choose furniture though. When I go, I'm looking for something SPECIFIC. Any tomfoolery in between is open should both parties agree.
I'm going to rewrite the first one because I've just realised my jab at the "ethic" seems to be more appropriated at the wine-and-dine than the 3-date rule.
Also.
We've already established that you're one of the mindless love legion.
I sayang you too despite knowing better. HAHA.
Seems like your friends are breaking up around the end of year too. Same here, I wrote about it as well:
http://josh.my/?p=44
I had a friend who had a planetarium date. They ended up doing it at the planetarium (it was late, there was no one around).
Other ideas:
- Cook for her. 'Dessert' afterwards is convenient.
- Theatre date. This way you show you're artsy!
- Drinks then clubbing date. But then, she might leave with someone else.
- Picnic (lots of preparation though).
How successful have your Ikea dates been btw? I love the meatballs there :)
Josh: Yeah it's just cyclical I think. People are more dependant on solar calendars than they realise.
Ikea? I've never been on a date there myself :p I may have brought people along with me to inspect certain goods, but never under the pretense that I wish to bed them at a later date. People do love Ikea though. Swedish wizards.
hahahahaha you lies about Ikea!
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