Official Super Ultimate Undeniable Valentine's Post

It's about that time of year. And to the best of my knowledge, this is the first time in 5 years I'm lacking a partner for Valentines Day.

Which means I've got a surplus of a thousand dollars to spend getting shitfaced tonight and tomorrow.


I don't hate Valentines. I think the general perception is I hate everything warm and fuzzy. But the more insightful of you, dear readers, will realise that Valentines is a corporate facade much like any other holiday. Hence I love it.


However since I don't have anyone to show fake-affection to this year, I figure I'll give it to you.


Here you are my beloved(s), a stillborn ad that will never see the light of official day. Men, print it and give it to your ladyfriends. Ladies, aren't I sweet?



By my math, we spent a gajillion hours doing this. According to 4 A's rates, this ad cost over MONEY DOLLARS to make.

And it's all yours for free.



Also





Happy Valentines!